In 2009, my wife, Susan, and I attended a mission school in Mozambique, Africa. A few days after we arrived there, a local young man introduced himself to us. The next day, he saw us again and came over to talk. We ended up spending a couple of hours with him walking down the beach as he excitedly taught us some Portuguese, their national language, and Makua, his native language. The following day I saw him again, and he gave me a seashell he had found. He asked me to give it to Susan, because she was so excited the day before when she saw interesting shells on the beach. I told him it would be very special to her, and that she would appreciate it very much.
About a week later, we went into town again to try to use the internet to let our family know we had arrived safely. As we were walking out the gates of the compound, the young man saw us and came over to say hello. He told us that it was his birthday, and he walked with us down the road to the internet café in a local hotel.
When we arrived, he looked at me with sad eyes and in broken English said, “I hate to ask you brother, but can you give me something so I can buy chicken for me and take some home to my family?”
I immediately felt sad, because I thought that we were developing a friendship, and I began to wonder if money was all he had really wanted from us. We had just been cautioned by the school’s staff the day before, that many of the locals will try to build false friendships with students in an effort to receive money.
Have you ever had an experience like that? A time when you thought you were developing a friendship with someone, only to find out later that they had an ulterior motive?
The whole experience had me thinking later that evening about my relationship with God. Before we left for Mozambique, God told me He had things waiting for us there. When we first arrived, I began to say, Ok, God. I’m here. Give me what you have for me. But after reflecting on what happened with our young acquaintance, it had me wondering if God was saddened because I didn’t just continue to develop my relationship with Him first before asking Him what He had for me.
Sometimes in our relationship with the Lord, we focus on His gifts and what we can or might receive from Him, but by doing so we completely overlook the Giver and miss out on that deeper relationship with Him. Our Father knows what our needs are. The gifts will come; the blessings will come. What’s on our Father’s heart, and what should also be on our hearts, is putting our relationship with Him first and getting to know Him more.
There really isn't anything more important than that.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
– Matthew 6:33 ESV
This lesson of course, applies not only to our relationship with God, but with others as well, whether family or friends. If our personal relationships are conditional or contingent on what we hope or expect to receive, then we are completely missing the point.
It's about the relationship... not the gift.
