It seems that in the world today, everyone wants to express their own opinion, but so few care to actively listen in order to understand each other’s hearts. No wonder personal relationships suffer and problems are left unresolved! As Christians, we should pay attention to Jesus’s example, learn from Him, and transform our ways of thinking and speaking, building real relationships instead of contributing to shallow ones or even division.
Being a good listener is imperative for productive communication, and yet, it seems so many people struggle in this area. Have you ever been talking to someone and before you barely got a sentence out, they jumped in and hi-jacked the conversation taking it in a totally different direction or started responding before you even finished what you were saying? It doesn’t feel very good does it? Maybe you would like to talk to someone but rarely get the chance to speak because they always seem more interested in talking and not really listening.
When we are in a habit of listening poorly, it communicates to others, whether we intend for it to or not, that we do not respect them, do not value them, and do not really care about what they have to say.
Proverbs 18:2 (ESV) says, “a fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion,” and in 18:13, “if one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”
Jesus was a good listener. He knew things about people before they even said a word and yet, He listened anyway. He listened without prejudice to people who were rejected by society, like the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:1-42). He already knew everything about her entire life, and yet, despite being very tired and thirsty, He took the time to interact with her and listened to her. In that simple act, He demonstrated God’s love for her, leading her to restoration.
Jesus never let busyness or to-do lists keep Him from actively listening. He didn’t interrupt people. He patiently engaged with others by asking relevant questions when appropriate, which made the people He was talking to feel valued and loved. He demonstrated how God listens to all His children.
Prayer is a two-way communication with God. He knows our needs and wants before we express them, but He still asks us to come to Him and tell Him, because He wants a relationship with us. He wants to listen to us, and He expects us to listen to Him as well. Jesus demonstrated this to His disciples. When in prayer, not only did God listen to Jesus, but Jesus waited and listened for God to speak to His heart.
Listening and sharing with each other builds relationships. Communication is not just speaking. Communication is an exchange. Without listening, there is no communication, and without communication, there is no depth of relationship, only the illusion of one.
